Faith. Finances. Fidelity.

Our home study is being written, the first round of paperwork and documentation is out of our hands. The fundraising has started. After a quiet start, this journey is beginning to come together quickly. The risk taking is here and I’m not nervous. Which I find odd because it is not just my heart, my time, my energy, my money, my love, my investment that I am committing.  We are allowing our family and friends to invest and commit along with us. And we are not unaware of the fact that we could all grieve together when rough times hit. What if the country closes unexpectedly? What if the age or health needs of the child we are matched with is too far out of our comfort zone? What if we our country changes its guidelines? What if we allow others to commit time, emotion and finances and somehow along the way our adoption falls through? What if? What if? What if?

And still, I am confident. Not naively so, we are certainly cautious. We waited until the first adoptions went through before committing to international adoption and this country specifically. We did the research, had the conversations, and asked the questions. We have set some lines that are harder than our agency might prefer. We are aware of the potential for heartbreak. We are aware that cost is astronomically high. Financially & emotionally this is not a logical risk to take. But for this I am willing to risk. Not just my heart but my families hearts as well. We are smart enough. We are persistent enough. We are strong enough.  And above all, in so many different ways, God has shown us this adoption path is one he has laid out specifically for us. And that, in itself, is enough.

Without risk, without faith, there will be no children, no grandchildren, no family memories. And somewhere out there, far away, will be a child who could have had a family. If I had taken a risk. If I had allowed myself and my family to step out in faith. Because at the end of the day, that is what this journey is about. Faith.      

Fundraising for adoption, especially international adoption is common. Most families who adopt internationally fundraise and “everyone” knows that, hence that should make it “ok,” right? But I personally struggle with allowing others to give financially to our dream. It’s a risk, and shouldn’t it be our risk? Tom and I decided to do this. It’s our calling. No one else should be asked to put their money into it. It’s why we didn’t begin fundraising until now. We wanted to be sure. More than sure. But the time for mitigating the risk is passed. At some point you have to step out in faith and walk the path God has laid before you. And that means allowing others to help. I will never forget when the first people gave us money for our adoption. It was right before Christmas and they had littles of their own. I’m sure Christmas was on a budget. But they chose to turn a chance to bring in a few extra dollars for Christmas into a chance to support our adoption fund. I was humbled. I was touched. And looking back it was the day I realized this really was going to happen for us. Faith. Finances.

This process takes commitment. It takes the loyalty to our Heavenly Father when he asks us to put earthly footwork behind the Heavenly promise He has given. It’s braving the fact that not everyone will understand or agree with the path you have taken. Not doubting in the night what you were promised in day. Fidelity. Sticking with the plan and the promise even when every detail is not clear. Showing up at the place God asked you to be at. Why is fidelity so important? I’ve learned a lot about God, his promises and living a prophetic lifestyle in the last year. Here is what I can tell you – you will hear a lot of people say “God told me” or “God promised me” or “someone spoke this prophecy over me.” Yes, I believe all of that can and does happen. I also know that a prophecy is sometimes God revealing the potential that He has for you. And not everyone reaches their full potential. Why? Because without earthly footsteps walking into and seeking after that potential it cannot always be reached. God will take you be they hand and lead you, he will smooth your path and guide you through the rough waters. But you do typically have to get up off the couch.